I wrote this for my parish newsletter in March, at the time we were going through one "parish leader" spiritual autobiography each month, and as the webmaster/newsletter editor I got asked to contribute my own -- as I know very well, my sense of my own story changes over time, but this is a snapshot of what I wanted to share about my sense of God at work in my life at that one moment in time (I got in trouble for it):
Meet the Newsletter Editor/Web Master
I was, as my grandmother frequently reminded me, “Born a Methodist.” And by that, she also meant that I should die a Methodist. She never saw much need for spiritual exploration, at least not when you were born into the right path from the very beginning.
Unfortunately for my grandmother’s peace of mind, I have always been a searcher. When our local Methodist church (Lawrenceville, NY) closed in the early 70’s, my mother, sister and I joined the Southern Baptist mission that went into our old Methodist church building. (My grandmother and father stayed staunchly Methodist, and stopped going to church altogether. My brother had already left for college.)
For the 4 or 5 years that I was Southern Baptist, I picked up both the best and the very worst of that denomination’s outlook. I certainly learned my Bible: memorization was emphasized and the whole Bible was read and studied. My knowledge of the Old Testament prophets and the New Testament epistles I still credit to those days, as well as my ability to look up any passage quickly and to quote many verses. But, as this was an extremely conservative version of the Southern Baptist spectrum, I also picked up the idea that we, and only we, had it right: that there is only one proper way to be a Christian. I once heard it preached that God wrote the King James version of the Bible with his own hand; thus only that version could be considered inspired by God. I was also taught that most “Christians” weren’t really Christian — particularly not Roman Catholics, who worshiped Mary and had the Antichrist as their Pope. (I wish I could say I was making this up!)
College at Clarkson didn’t actually change me, but it did expose me to some people who believed differently. I met people with equally strong faith, and lives that had also been transformed by encounters with the divine — and they weren’t even all Christian! My office-mate in the Physics Department was both a very dear friend and a devout Roman Catholic. We had many deep discussions about religion. (In my mind, these were about how his religion was wrong, which made him very sad. But he was patient with me.) I wish now I could tell him how much those conversations helped open my mind.
Jan (then John) and I met in college and got married shortly thereafter. We both got jobs at NASA Langley Research Center, and settled down in Hampton, VA. Unfortunately, our first years were pretty tough. In a few years we realized most of our problems stemmed from Jan’s life-long gender identity confusion. She eventually realized she was transsexual and, in 2004, completed the transition from male to female. Over the course of those nearly 20 years of struggle, we each went through a variety of emotional and spiritual crises. Because of the controversial nature of those crises in a culture torn in two over issues relating to sexuality and gender, we got very little help from any of the churches we attended. We found the Episcopal Church in 1990, and the denomination’s relative open-mindedness and support was invaluable. Still, there was only some support for Jan. Our local priest and bishop were fantastic, but the wars in the denomination and some fears and agitation locally about our “lifestyle” finally caused Jan to leave the church for good. She’s currently pursuing an interest in Buddhism, which I heartily endorse. I have settled on the universalist/panentheistic (look it up!) side of the liberal wing of the Episcopal Church. That can be a bit of a problem in our diocese, but I am happy to struggle along with others who are also struggling to live in an honest community of seekers, even if we come at it from very different places.
Jan and I live with our two feline children, Amí and Sophia, in Malone, NY and Yorktown, VA. I divide my time between the two houses, and I am sure you will understand why the winter months are the Virginia months! As a semi-retired engineer/scientist who spent most of my career in front of a computer, it was a natural for me to offer to serve as web master and newsletter editor for St. Mark’s. I love being able to participate even when I am not in town, and to keep in touch with what’s going on.
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